Brooklyn

Another year another Irish movie set in the 1950s. This one is about a young woman who moves from Wexford to New York, twice. Slight story but well made; it has several impressive and moving scenes. The problem (as usual with Irish cinema) is that it doesn't add anything to the story. It's rather bland and offers nothing new. The best scene was at the end when her former employer calls Ronan into the shop and informs her of what she knows. That's the best part because you're never really sure if she plans to return to America. The rest of the movie resembles most Hollywood nostalgic films from the 1980s: set in the middle of the 20th century; Coney Island beach; everyone well groomed in similar clothing and makeup; same extras in different scenes; a big deal made about the era but nothing that we didn't know or saw already. Ronan's character is so bland that she lets events happen to her and follows this path. Not as good as expected, very unoriginal, but one of the better home titles from this year.

Title: Brooklyn
Genre: Romance
New/old: New
Cinema/DVD: Cinema

Hallow

A British couple and their baby move to rural Ireland. The locals and police are unfriendly and there's a forest that no-one's allowed visit. The house they buy is falling apart and strange things happen. Like a lot of this stuff it's remarkably unoriginal but well made. Certainly better than most other Irish movies in this genre. Based on the changeling legend; it's quite scary in parts. Interesting point about how unfriendly everyone is to the couple. What's missing is a long extended set piece that all good horror movies use.

Title: The hallow
Genre: Horror
New/old: New
Cinema/DVD: Cinema

Legend of Longwood

Very few Irish movies aimed at kids and they're all rubbish. This latest addition is no different. A schoolgirl moves from America to Ireland and tries to save a herd of horses (white of course). They are due to get killed in order to renovate a castle and its land once a woman marries the owner. Too advanced for kids, confusing for adults, and laughably unoriginal. Lots of decent scenes followed by bad ones. It's like bits taken from different movies to make a decent trailer. I can't see too many kids following the story here with everything rushed and events happening at once with some nifty animation to explain backstory. Even better, some characters die shortly after they appear, off screen of course (one comes back in the closing credits). There's a really strange scene with two kids about to kiss each other slowly with some Barry White-type song playing on their record player. Like a movie version of an afternoon TV drama financed by some Euro-pudding scheme this is terrible. I know what happened, it's too tame - the baddies are not evil enough, the caretaker not kind enough, the school bully not nasty enough, Glascott not sexy enough, this whole thing is just lame. There are far better films similar to this. It's like Black ice vs Fast and furious.

Title: Legend of Longwood
Genre: Kids
New/old: New
Cinema/DVD: Cinema

Hit producer

Another Irish title that creeps into cinemas without much notice. This one is a crime movie featuring Michelle Doherty in the lead role. Similar to the obscure Gobshite: lots of ugly men, dialogue driven, fast paced, crude violence, nauseating camerawork, and instantly forgettable. She plays a part-time hit woman with the day job as a movie producer. It's the portrayal of the jerks involved in the film business that stands out. The rest of the movie is like watching a collection of lads who dropped out of school and did nothing with their lives before deciding to become 'actors'. Anytime a shooting arrives it's rushed, you won't care who gets killed, there's the obligatory establishing shot every ten minutes (with sped up footage of cars), a confusing storyline that you won't care about, and an overlong running time. As soon as the opening credits started with the music volume turned down in the mix I knew what to expect! If the Sunday World newspaper was to give away an Irish movie free on DVD this is the one they'd distribute.

Title: Hit producer
Genre: Gangster
New/old: New
Cinema/DVD: Cinema

Shooting for Socrates

Not sure why anyone would make a movie about Northern Ireland's disastrous World Cup performance in 1986 but here it is! Better than the other Irish titles (Best, Studs) but appears contrived and flat. Probably sounded good on paper but poorly executed and unsure of its point? What's the connection with footballer Socrates anyway? Similar in production values to Killing Bono: stays in first gear; worse than it sounds; set in the past but with present day values/nostalgia; local 'characters'; mildly funny; lots of songs on the soundtrack; celebrates failure; and a feel good vibe. Some good parts were the Protestant players visiting a Catholic church in Mexico to light candles, the kid crying at the end, the SLF covers on the soundtrack, and the manager accepting bribes from the press for interviews with his players. Best part was it explains where that 'We're not Brazil we're Northern Ireland' chant came from. One annoyance was the referent to 'Southern Ireland' in the continuity credits - there's no such place, it's just 'Ireland' (check the Constitution). Also, why does EVERYONE in these Northern Ireland movies live in terraced homes? Have they no bungalows/semis/apartments up there?

Title: Shooting for Socrates
Genre: Football
New/old: New
Cinema/DVD: DVD

Monged

Another of those student Filmbase features, requiring three directors! A group of mismatched lads take/sell drugs and visit various Dublin nightspots. It's Get up and go meets Standby with a touch of Headrush but more enjoyable to watch. But, several old Irish movies already used Dublin rave scenes (Snakes and Ladders) so nothing new here. The main actors are good and so is the script. One guy (Gerry Ryan's son) is gay but gets his girlfriend pregnant, the other is an office nerd, while the last is a wannabe-gangster/scumbag who's lost his friends. It's this last guy who can really act. What this movie lacked was violence, the cathartic scene at the end needed a good fight not dialogue. Just too samey and unoriginal which was probably the point. After all, if you're going to pay over SIX GRAND to do this Masters course the last thing you want is to take risks.

Title: Monged
Genre: Drugs
New/old: New
Cinema/DVD: Cinema

Grasscutter

For anyone fed up with IRA movies here's a UVF one! Set in New Zealand (with flashbacks to the North) it's about an informer who lives under a new name. The terrorists arrive Down Under to kill him. The local police get involved and try to figure out what's going on. Made back in the 1980s this is similar in style to Cry of the innocent. Has a routine thriller feel with some great scenery, tragic killings, police wearing sharp suits, strange haircuts, rugby, family strife, and a rural finale. Why does the main guy keep his Nordie accent when he's hiding out in another country? Completely forgotten, never mentioned in books on Irish cinema, but available on DVD in charity and game shops.

Title: The grasscutter
Genre: Loyalist
New/old: Old
Cinema/DVD: DVD

COUNTRY VIEWS

Here are the countries that have accessed Shoot the Cabbage the most. Seems to be more popular outside of Western Europe.
Ireland (highest views)
United States
Russia
United Kingdom
Germany
France
Czech Republic
Ukraine
China
Latvia

Pursuit

Another Irish release that crawls into cinemas without much fanfare or publicity. It's a gangster film updating of an old legend. A couple goes on the run avoiding bullets and baddies. Lots of famous faces appear with several unknown ones. Fast paced and aimed at the multiplex this is an above average effort. In fact, it's quite unique in Irish cinema for using so many cuts in the edit to speed up the story. Lots of jump cuts and plot twists. Also impressive is how loud the songs on the soundtrack are. Most Irish movies have the songs fade in quietly but never reach their full impact. What's missing is a good set piece. Trojan Eddie meets Black ice meets Perrier's bounty. But better than any of those. They can use that quote for the DVD release!

Title: Pursuit
Genre: Gangster
New/old: New
Cinema/DVD: Cinema

MOVE THE IRISH FILM BOARD TO PORTUGAL!

Summit tells me this could be a good idea. Let taxpayers over there contribute for a change. Make all films in Portugese and this would have a ready market in Brazil. Might even win an Oscar for best Foreign Language Film? Better weather too and more attractive women, that would put Amy Huberman out of work. Then rename the IFTAs the PFTAs and no more daft Irish language shorts. Then close Ardmore for good, the RDS of film studios.

CALLBACK QUEEN RELEASED!

Graham Cantwell's latest 'masterpiece' is finally in a cinema, Dundrum to be exact. Finally, the follow up to one of the greatest cinematic efforts ever made in this country. How many of those knobs on FMN posting "Graham is a friend of mine" will bother to go see it? For some unknown reason, it's getting 1-star reviews from the newspapers. Do they not recognise 'genuine' talent? Why or why are we losing our greatest filmmaking talent to other countries? With Cantwell and Kirsten Sheridan moving abroad what hope is there for the country. Thank goodness all these Syrians are arriving!