THADDEUS O'SULLIVAN IN HENRY STREET?

Saw the famed Irish director at work in Henry Street, Dublin 1 today. Hasn't made a decent movie since Nothing personal back in the mid'90s. Was in a hurry for breakfast to tell him that!

WAS ONDINE NEIL JORDAN'S WORST MOVIE?

Last night Shoot the Cabbage decided to watch an old Michael Powell movie but the stupid DVD wouldn't play. So instead had another look at Ondine. After a few minutes it became apparent that this is a bad movie. There's a kid in a wheelchair who can walk when she hold onto things. So why was she in a wheelchair then? Why not use a walking stick? Then the story copies earlier productions like True North and Secret of Roan Inish. Then the editing is all over the place: lots of slow scenes and when something interesting happens it gets rushed. Then there's the fancy, moving camerawork which gets ruined as the scenes are so brief. Finally, there's the awful postproduction work which darkens the images and gives it a blue rinse look (not the only Irish movie that has been ruined this way!). So that's what's wrong with Ondine as far as STC is concerned. Sadly, Jordan is so respected that outside of this blog he is above criticism ?

STATE-FUNDED FILMS?

With practically every new filmmaker here begging the Film Board for funds here's a thought: how are Irish movies supposed to be good when the Government funds these? It's like one of those old communist countries from Eastern Europe where film production is controlled by the state. No wonder Irish movies are so bad (and overrated) when they get state-funded? Even better, the stupid ITFAs are also partly funded by the Film Board. So that means the goverment funds film production and then funds an award ceremony for these films? Couldn't make this up!

THOSE LOST FILMS FROM THE '90S?

Anyone wondering why I'm fussing over those forgotten Irish movies from the 1990s then remember this! A lot of those films were a big deal back then and some were well rated. So will the same thing happen to today's Irish films? Will they be forgotten in 2025? Will the future filmmakers of Ireland look in bewilderment when someone mentions Rewind or Eamon? Will today's new feature directors never make another movie and end up making a TV series or documentary?

EK THA TIGER AGAIN!

According to the Evening herald newspaper protests are taking place against the making of this film! Apparently, about thirty Irish film workers are angry for some reason. So, anyone who think we have a film industry here this is the reality. I hope Bollywood tells us to f-off and never makes another movie here. Thanks, to these protesting idiots I hope all we have left in this country are low-budget films that employ a handful of people on minimum pay. Serves these fools right!

WHY ARE SO MANY IRISH MOVIES FROM THE '90S UNAVAILABLE? - PART 2

The list continues! Further gesture, Guiltrip, Broken harvest, Fifth provence, I went down, Titanic town, Bogwoman, Flick, Park, Love divided, Drinking crude, Spaghetti slow, and Some mother's son. What's going on with these titles? They can't all be terrible?

EK THA TIGER NEXT WEEK

Seems there's a big Bollywood dance/song scene getting filmed in Dublin next week? Of course it's nothing new as anyone who has seen Flight of the doves made forty years ago will remember.

WHY ARE SO MANY IRISH MOVIES FROM THE '90S UNAVAILABLE?

Not just the IFB-funded stuff either? Saltwater, The sun the moon and the stars, Sweety barrett, Ailsa, I went down, Last September, Playboys, Run of the country, Trojan Eddie, Miracle, Joe my friend, Agnes Browne, Bishop's story, November afternoon, This is the sea, High boot benny, Snakes and ladders, and Words upon the window pane. What's going on? Are these titles so bad that they can't be viewed until 2030? Or is there some kind of copyright problem where only Region 1 DVDs are allowed? Whatever it is it SUCKS bigtime. How much money went into these movies? How much money did these films make/lose at the box office? What's the point of funding a decade of stuff that no-one can see?

IRISH VIDEO GAMES BOARD?

Since 1993 the Irish Film Board has funded one sh*t movie after another. Every few years a hit movie arrives and then it's back to the usual fare. We don't have a film industry and never will. So here's a thought: what would have happened if they had set up an Irish video games board back in 1993 instead? We could have had thousands employed by now in steady, well-paid jobs. We could have been leaders in the gaming industry? We could have had a hugely profitable industry in that area? Lots of young graduates could have walked into good jobs after college? The IFB is a failure in both funding quality films and profitable ones. If only they had set up the IVGB instead?

IRISH FILMS BACKLOG?

Anyone who reads the Irish newspapers will be aware that a LOT of movies were made here since 2008. However, a good few of these titles have yet to be seen outside of the festivals? I reckon it could be almost ½? For example The race seems to have gone to region 1 DVD? So what's up? Are these movies so bad that they are strictly straight-to-DVD material? Did our Film Board go crazy for a while funding lots of similar stuff that the market can't handle? Here's a suggestion: maybe if the Board funded something different or offbeat it might stand out from derivative rubbish like The race?

IRISH HORROR MOVIES PLEASE MAKE THESE STOP!

With several new Irish horror movies on the way Shoot the cabbage would like to request the following: PLEASE NO MORE! Unless a director is a true horror fan and plans to work almost exclusively in this genre then these horror films are pointless. They'll be crap, derivative, pointless, and not scary. There are now so many Irish horror films getting made that older rubbish like Rawhead Rex is starting to look impressive.

AS IF I AM NOT THERE FOR AN OSCAR?

Well, if we can't win an Academy Award for an English-language movie why not try another language? The overrated As if I am not there (which is NOT Irish themed) is being put forward as Ireland's entry for the Best Foreign Language film for the 2012 awards. The kind of picture that's made for film festivals. We failed a few years back with Kings (another overrated film) but As if I am not there is the kind of picture that could do well in America?

DANNY DEVITO MOVIE

Called True Confessions of Charlotte Doyle and is due to get made here next year.

PILGRIM'S HILL

Good to see a new movie getting made called Pilgrim's hill*. Even better is seeing a young filmmaker doing something a bit different. It's about a farmer struggling with his rural life. Better than another stupid Irish horror or gangster movie?
* Today's Irish examiner

KARL GOLDEN WELL DONE THAT GUY PART 2!

Today's Sindo (Sunday independent newspaper) has an article about Irish director Karl Golden. Says he's not bothered about the reception for his new movie Weekender (gone to DVD in Ireland) as it's a stepping stone to bigger things!

VEIN WITHIN

Good to see a no-budget Irish movie getting publicity in the newspapers. This time it's Vein within and is about drugs addiction. Directed by a former addict and Robert Downey Jnr is an adviser!

BOLLYWOOD IN DUBLIN TODAY!

Good to see that Bollywood movie getting made today off Grafton Street. Some size that camera! Very few crew though.

CHEERS URUGUAY!

Don't understand why so many different countries are accessing this blog but anyway cheers Uruguay!

IRELAND'S THE ROOM?

Most people have heard of The room. One of the worst films ever, laughably bad. So is there an Irish version? The closest one is probably Gold in the streets. A forgotten drama about young Irish emigrants to America. UCD academic Harvey O'Brien said of the film: There is no evident reason why this film was made other than that the money was available and had to be spent on a project which could be exported to gullible expatriates and Diaspora. This godawful, disgraceful film sets back the cause of an Irish cinema more significantly than any of the hated international productions which have used the setting to justify all kinds of romantic excess in the past. . Not only that: Painfully clichéd and almost completely unwatchable film and Nothing that happens here is believable. It plays like some demented 1950s fantasy with a 1990s overlay of sex, profanity and loud music. There's one part where Jared Harris heads back to Ireland for Xmas and everyone says their goodbyes. A few scenes later he walks back into the film and no-one bats an eyelid. Sadly, it's not as 'entertaining' as The room hence it's been completely forgotten.

BIG BUZZ FOR ALBERT NOBBS?

Because it's made in Ireland and is about two women pretending to be men in order to get ahead in society. Have these people never seen the Barbra Streisand movie Yentl? Been there, done that indeed!

EK THA TIGER!

Good to see new Bollywood movie Ek tha tiger getting made in Dublin this month. Now there's an industry!

CHEERS HONG KONG!

Another person has accessed this superb blog! Not sure why it's not listed as China but anyway cheers Hong Kong!

IRELAND'S GREATEST ACTORS: AUDREY DALTON

Attractive Dublin actress who appeared in several famous titles: Titanic (the '50s version), Separate Tables, and This other Eden.

CHEERS KENYA!

Someone in Africa has accessed this blog so a big hello to that person in Kenya!

Crying game

Impressive but overrated movie fom the '90s. Kind of similar in style to the Alan Rudolph title Trouble in mind? It's about a hostage who gets killed by a Saracen and one of the IRA captors visits England to meet his 'girlfriend'. The best shot was the opening one of the carnival. The surprise is easy to figure out and some of the characters are clichéd. Best part was the pacing. One of Jordan's better movies.

DVD RELEASE FOR YOU, ME, AND MARLEY

Strange title for a post? Nothing to do with the crap doogie movie Marley and me either. This forgotten early '90s TV movie has finally got released on DVD. Extremely violent and anarchic it's set in the North among teenagers.

GRAHAM CANTWELL IN THE EVENING HERALD

Seems the IFTAs have opened a London branch and some function took place. So who appears in today's Evening herald newspaper at this event? None other than Anton director Graham Cantwell. Yes, this jobbing hack is posing for his photo at the bleedin' IFTAs. Trying to work outside the system but making stuff more derivative than IFB titles. Then he supports the dire IFTAS? Misguided fool more like. Some people make movies because they have something to say or have a true passion for cinema. The rest are like Graham Cantwell.

Poitín

Famous but little-seen Irish film from the 1970s. Decades before The guard and Kings it's set in the West and is in the Irish language (with English subtitles). The story involves a poteen maker who hides from the Garda and takes revenge on his pair of helpers who thrash a cottage because the poteen maker killed their dog. Bleak landscape and little dialogue. One of the best Irish home-produced films ever made.

UNFORGETTABLE IS RIGHT!

Another 'couldn't make it up' post! There's a Bollywood movie called Unforgettable which is due to get filmed in Ireland. However, visa problems and accusations of racism (!) mean they MAY have to make it elsewhere. So that's millions of € lost due to incompetent mandarins in Foreign Affairs and a useless Film Board. Well done to everyone involved!

CHEERS TAIWAN!

Another far-away country has accessed this blog so cheers Taiwan!

LENNY ABRAHAMSON SHOULD DO A TERRENCE MALICK!

Now that he's moving onto his third feature our only decent new director is making a movie about middle-class teenagers. No doubt it will be good and might even win an IFTA(!) but surely his reputation would last longer if he didn't make another feature until say 2030?

NO POST TONIGHT!

Because Ireland are trying to beat Slovakia in the football/soccer.

SO MUCH FOR SOULBOY?

Seems the Shimmy Marcus movie Soulboy has made such little impact that there's to be another Northern Soul movie called Northern soul! Hopefully there will never be another version of Headrush.