Thursday, 29 November 2012


Shoot the cabbage has solved a major mystery in Irish cinema! The reason that there is no cinema about the Ireland's lower-classes struggling to survive is because the welfare here is too generous. These people are too busy enjoying one of the highest free payments in Europe. The only ones who work minimum wage in Irish retail/factories/slaughterhouses are the non-nationals. Irish filmmakers do not make films about foreigners in Ireland (apart from that rubbish Front line). There is no genuine Irish working-class system anymore as these people don't work. If someone did make a film about an Irish person in a factory, spending his paypacket at weekends, while trying to escape his upbringing it would not be taken seriously. That would appear too contrived. That is why Irish filmmakers waste their time looking for adaptations and concentrate on the technical aspects of filmmaking. There is nothing to say through the social realism genre in Irish cinema! Also, no audience would care for a film about a successful couple who lost their holiday home in Bulgaria. They got their just deserts! This recession would not transfer well to the big screen. No-one would feel sorry for the characters or whatever misery they are going through. It serves most of them right! What's needed is a comedy/satire on the whole recession. Make fun of it all. Irish politicians (who were schoolteachers) trying to negotiate with Eurocrat whizzkids to save the country. Couples getting 100% mortgages to live in Leitrim! Hiring helicopters for communions! Let's take the piss out of the whole Celtic Tiger/recession? That's the best way to criticise everyone involved?

Tuesday, 27 November 2012


The new movie from Martin McDonagh, Seven psychpaths is one. Also Death of a superhero from the vastly less-talented Ian Fitzgibbon. Finally, last and by all means least, is Kirsten Sheridan's latest 'masterpiece', Dollhouse . All coming out in a few weeks.

Tuesday, 20 November 2012


Well I'll say this: out of all the Irish-themed horror titles reviewed so far this is the most impressive. Daft story and awful acting aside there is a lot to admire here. Almereyda is a fine director and like his other films there are lots of dream sequences and different footage used. There is no deliberate comedy and the film does its best to unsettle the audience. Like other Irish horror movies this one has alcoholics, a bogbody, large house, scary child, and rural setting. There's a bizarre scene where the two leads dance to a Joe Dolan record! But unlike the other films in the dreaded Irish horror genre at least this movie gives the impression that the director has genuine talent.


Might as well do up another post as there are so many of these getting made.

Monday, 19 November 2012


Called The eternal. That's the good news. The bad news is that it's another bleedin' horror movie! Review to follow.

Sunday, 18 November 2012


Great news for those tools on the Film Making Nobodies website who defend this woman regardless of any talent because she's a 'nice person'! The production company hasn't decided if this will be a TV movie or will get a cinema release. These kind of films ALWAYS get made-for-TV so that's Sheridan's career in cinema over. Almost every Irish director who emerged a decade ago is now working in television due to lack of talent. Anyone else waiting to see Dollhouse next month? Even one person?

Thursday, 15 November 2012


Love the way Reel Ireland screen this movie abroad as an example of Irish cinema! Not only did the DVD have a 'Best of British' sticker on the cover but there's also an old book called 'British cinema of the 90s'. The very first page has this: 'Between 1990 and 1993 the only British films to figure in the top twenty box-office films in Britain were Alan Parker's The commitments...'. Irish-themed yes but not Irish! Shame most organisations here cannot distinguish between these two types?

Wednesday, 14 November 2012

Leprechaun in the hood

More of an urban movie than horror. Three guys try to succeed in the rap business but end up stealing a golden flute from Ice-T. It belongs to the little monster and he goes after it. Looking like something done on 16mm it's the weakest of the lot. Nothing happens in lots of scenes and it's quite boring. They don't even attempt to spoof the rap movie genre. The only Irish reference is the rap at the end. The minor characters have big roles here. Cameo from Coolio.

Friday, 9 November 2012

Halloween 3 season of the witch

Another horror movie with a strong Irish influence. Dan O'Herlihy runs a factory that produces Silver Shamrock Halloween masks in a small Irish community. A doctor suspects the person who killed a patient is from the area and investigates. More Cronenberg than slasher it's different to the other Halloween titles because there are no teenagers or Michael Myers character. Well-made effort that treats the silly story with respect. One of the better horror titles from the 1980s.

Wednesday, 7 November 2012

Leprechaun 4 in space

Bad sci-fi effort (is there a good kind?) where the little monster is hiding out with a young woman on a planet. A battle crew arrive and kill the leprechaun but he can regenerate and appears on the spaceship. Mayhem ensues with lots of bad dialogue and 'homages' to Alien, Dr Who, and other movies. Easily the worst one so far watched in the series and the only Irish reference is the singing of Danny boy. One good scene was with the green lightsabre!

Tuesday, 6 November 2012


That was decades before digital video and the non-linear editing systems. How many new Irish directors have made that number of features in their entire career? None is the answer. Something's wrong with the system here. If Corman's too lowbrow then Bergman and Fassbinder also produced a large output of features. What's going on in this country? Cheap technology is available yet Irish filmmakers seems to take years to produce even one feature film. That of course only happens after a few shorts get made first. Then the follow-up feature (if any) takes another few years. Is the obsession with a certain technical standard discouraging Irish directors to just 'do it'? Is it now too easy to make movies so new barriers need to put in place (funding, script rewrites)? Does the bar get raised everytime a new camera arrives making the previous ones 'redundant'? Are Irish filmmakers too snobbish to use older equipment because the 'look' is out of date? Are they waiting to hear back fom the Film Board and cannot proceed with making a feature until they receive 'official approval'? As singer Toyah once shouted: It's a mystery!

Sunday, 4 November 2012


No sign of Ireland doing a Turkey and having a film new wave? The good news is that Shoot the Cabbage has solved this problem! The reason is this obsession with telling stories. Too much emphasis on plot and storylines with not enough emphasis on character and exploring themes. That's why we produce rubbish like Anton with its one-dimensional characters and complicated storyline that confuses and tires the audience. Our filmmakers don't have enough skill to tell these complicated stories effectively. The great directors e.g. Bergman were not obsessed with 'telling stories'. His film The magician has a slight story yet is better than any Irish effort I've seen. The mantra of Irish cinema is: 'We have stories to tell'. That's just rubbish! There are better ways of making great cinema than telling stories. Leave storytelling to television!

Saturday, 3 November 2012

Leprechaun 3

Best one so far! It's set in Vegas, mainly at night. More of a comedy than horror, a magician's assistant and a student team up to fight off the leprechaun who (as usual) is searching for his missing gold coins. The dialogue is good, the acting is bad (which suits the film), and there are some great scenes: the exploding woman, the chainsaw-in-half, and the woman-robot coming out of the TV set. Apart from a featured computer game there's not much reference to Ireland in this movie. Like the other ones the final death scene is rushed so people won't remember what happened when the sequel starts!

Master of the world

Dated movie from the 1960s with Vincent Price trying to stop wars around the world. He uses an airship to attack from the sky. A group of ...