She didn't say no!

Another lost Irish movie from the 1950s. This one is in colour and like most of these kind of films it's not too good. In the South East a woman has several kids from different men, her daughter tries to steal a role in a local movie, her young boy could be up for adoption, and there are lots of supporting characters to fill out the story. Script-based, poorly directed, dull to watch, but very funny in parts. It's a spoof movie based on a famous murder case where an innocent man got executed. It's pointless criticising these films due to their inaccuracies (how accurate was the Michael Collins movie?). What I didn't like was how bland the whole thing was, almost like a radio-play, nothing cinematic. There are far better Irish-themed titles from that decade that deserve to be better known. The late 1950s was when cinema (and theatre) got kick started to a higher level but this is like something a village-theatre group made together.

Title: She didn't say no!
Genre: Comedy drama
New/old: Old
Cinema/DVD: Cinema

Last light

Silly Nordie horror movie about a fat guy wandering through a derelict house with a torch. That's about it, nothing much happens, music is terrible, the two support actresses are ugly, and there are few scares. Washed out colours and dull to watch. The ending was daft and the whole film reeks of unoriginality.

Title: The last light
Genre: Horror
New/old: Old
Cinema/DVD: DVD

Get up and go

Another piece of sh-t from our Film Board. Two dull lads drive around Dublin while one decides it's his last day here before moving to Britain. Nothing interesting happens, none of the characters are likeable, the women look plain, the cinematography is poor, and the whole movie is just pointless. There's absolutely nothing to recommend and only one good scene where a girl punches another. I wish the whole cast would emigrate as they're the most boring and self-centred group to appear in an Irish movie. How did this rubbish receive funding? All the 'right' people involved as usual. It's complete crap, made by a talentless hack with absolutely nothing to say. Like someone put their mates into different areas of Dublin and filmed them badly while they made up their own dialogue. Seriously, how did this sh-te get into our cinemas? Various characters interact and fall for each other. None of the relationships appear genuine, characters arguing in empty streets. When Coonan tries to cash a cheque in the closed bank he goes to his old cinema to try and cash it instead of a cash convenience shop. The wannabe comedian never gets to do his routine.

Title: Get up and go
Genre: Romcom
New/old: New
Cinema/DVD: Cinema

How to be happy

Awful movie about a counsellor who has affairs with his clients' wives. This rubbish needed three directors and it shows. Most of the cast are the same age, too normal, blandly middle-class, appear clean, and the entire story makes little sense. Similar in tone to Situations vacant, where anything of interest e.g. the sex scenes occurs off-screen. Lots of bland guitar music on the soundtrack and of course, the usual establishing shots every few minutes. Easily one of the worst Irish movies in years, this is just laughable. So is Carrie Crowley, what an annoying woman. Even better, some cast from the equally bad Dick Dickman PI also appear. Let me guess: Filmbase only selects the blandest, most-unimaginative people do their Masters course?

Title: How to be happy
Genre: Romcom
New/old: Old
Cinema/DVD: DVD