Life's a breeze

If there's one genre even worse than the Irish horror movie it's the Film Board comedy. From Wide open spaces to Happy ever afters there is about 3% comedy and 97% crap in these movies. Now this latest effort is the same as the others. The usual faces, boring storyline, overdone soundtrack music, unfunny dialogue, confusing emotions, dull cinematography, short scenes (including the obligatory dole office one), and a sense of not caring what happens. Even better, the director already used the idea of an old person hiding money under the bed in his Halo effect. Everything that's wrong with Irish cinema involving all the 'right people' is here! That new teenage actress can't act, the characters argue with each other, none are likeable, and the movie runs out of steam after about an hour. There's not even one scene that sparks to life or makes you sit up and take notice. Bland rubbish made by bland people.

Title: Life's a breeze
Genre: Light-family drama
New/old: New
Cinema/DVD: Cinema

Ballroom of Romance

Like most of the best Irish movies from the 1980s this one is forgotten. Short feature about a group of middle-aged lonely hearts who meet up at a rural dancehall. Fricker has her eye on drummer Lally but discovers that his landlady already has him. Then she fights off the leery advances from Kavanagh. It's an impressive movie and is better than that other famous Irish short-feature Poitin. Set at night like most good films this could have worked as a silent movie. The expressions on the actors' faces tell the story as good as the dialogue. Like most new Irish directors from that decade Pat O'Connor hasn't done much of note since. I blame the second Film Board for ignoring these directors' true potential but that's for another post!

Title: Ballroom of Romance
Genre: Heritage
New/old: Old
Cinema/DVD: Online

GALWAY 2013

With most of last year's Irish features forgotten already the new Fleadh programme for this month includes:

Sea
Another 1950's movie, great!

How to be happy
Another Filmbase feature which will get its only public screenings in Galway!

Run and jump
Family drama.

Cold
Eoin Macken's new one and it's not horror!

Black ice
Johnny Gogan's new one. Like his other features will no doubt be exclusively available on the Volta website.

Mister John
From the directors of Helen. These filmmakers are doing stuff far more impressive than the others here.

Dark by noon
Another sci-fi movie. Also has two directors.

Callback queen
Graham Cantwell's new one. Can't say anything bad about this as his friends on FMN might complain!

House of shadows
Not sure about this one, set in Italy with Irish actors.

Tasting menu
Some food/cuisine comedy set in Spain with Irish actors?

Out of here
Coming of age drama. From the guy who wrote the article What's missing from Irish cinema.

Shadows
Another interesting director.

Life's a breeze
Lance Daly's new one. This guy will eventually direct a really good movie. Doubt it's this one?

Discoverdale
Seems to be similar to a Leningrad Cowboys-type movie?

Made in Belfast
The obligatory Nordie movie which are usually good.

Love eternal
From the director of Savage.


So that's that. Lots of Irish features at the month's Fleadh but the usual mixture of rubbish and interesting titles. No doubt a few will get a cinema release, the rest will come out on DVD, while the remaining will be forgotten by next month. None will be a commercial success but hopefully a few will be worth checking out?

Week in the life of Martin Cluxton

One of the best Irish movies from the 1970s. A 16-year old criminal returns to Dublin after a few years with the Christian Brothers. Lots of good street footage, jazz music (from Louis Stewart), a bad job interview, isolation, lousy parents, high-angled zoom shots, boredom, and chatty neighbours. Film depicts the tedium that inner city teenagers endure in the decade before heroin and video games! Far better than the crap our Film Board funds these days. There's even a dole office scene which features too often in contemporary Irish movies. Great seeing so many women wearing tight tops and short skirts! Similar to what Ken Loach was doing back then with weaker acting. It's a disgrace that this impressive movie gets continually ignored by books on Irish cinema.

Title: A week in the life of Martin Cluxton
Genre: Social realism
New/old: Old
Cinema/DVD: Online

LOVE & RAGE DVD!

One of dozens of lost Irish movies from the 1990s is now available on DVD. Found a new one for only €1.50 in the bargain chain Dealz. They have loads of copies for sale in their Santry store.

WENT TO SEE CITADEL!

And the only shocking thing was that it's not an Irish movie. Despite all the hype and buzz this horror film is set in Scotland. Some scary moments but unoriginal and silly. Been reading about this movie for the last two years but there's nothing Irish in it!

MORE JOHN FORD IRELAND!

Flag posters all over Dublin for the John Ford Ireland symposium. They are using the famous shot from The searchers. But here's something only Shoot the cabbage knows: that shot was used a decade earlier in a Western called Canyon Passage. The very same shot of a man framed through a door/window at the end of the movie. Shoot the cabbage - the best blog on Irish-themed cinema and still only 11 followers!

Vox humana

Recent feature film from veteran Bob Quinn. It's great seeing an Irish director in their 70s still making stuff! This is a digital effort about a loser who gets involved with a choir. The guy has some talent as a drummer so it's interesting to see how he's the outsider compared with the bland choir members. Picture blatantly copies the opening scene from Once where the guy robs money, runs into a building and out the other door. The rest of the movie has lots of street scenes, choral music (which I didn't like), annoying Galway people, and family tensions. It's poorly made, badly acted, but has some charm and is moving in parts. One of the better non-Film Board features.

Title: Vox humana
Genre: Music drama
New/old: Old
Cinema/DVD: DVD

Hard way

Lost thriller from the 1970s about a hit man who returns to Ireland to settle down only to get offered one last job. He refuses and the baddies go after him. Similar to Cry of the innocent: Shelbourne Hotel; Hollywood stars; bad direction; slow moving; shootout in the hills; airports; and zoom shots. Even Toner's pub makes an appearance! Writer Edna O'Brien appears but she can't act. The best thing about this movie is the way the characters are placed in empty streets, buildings, and countryside.

Title: The hard way
Genre: Thriller
New/old: Old
Cinema/DVD: DVD

YESTERDAY'S SINDO

Had a big article on an €80,000,000 movie called Boru getting made here by the director of Strength and honour. Then they had another article on a new Dracula movie getting made up North instead of here. So now you don't even have to read two newspapers to get opposite good/bad news on our Film industry! Even better, the Sunday business post indirectly blames James Nesbitt for enticing the big productions to Northern Ireland. He owns a company that provides toilets (honey wagons), catering, and transport for the big productions over the border.

WHERE TO EMIGRATE?

Our cinema has produced a lot of stuff over the years about the Irish emigrating. But where to?

Australia
Craic
Under Capricorn

England
Felicia's journey
I could read the sky
Kings

Canada
Luck of Ginger Coffey

New Zealand
River queen

Poland
Molly's way

South Africa
Anner House

Sweden
Disappearance of Finbar

USA
2x4
Beyond the Pale
Far and away
In America