The good, the average, and the rubbish of 2015

Another mixed year for Irish-themed cinema. A dozen releases but few made much of a success critically or commercially. A small number got vanity releases outside Dublin but made no impact. Here's a run down of the ones this blog sat through.

Good
Brooklyn - well directed yet everyone used the writer's name when describing this movie.
Monged - on release for a week (or weekend) this is a good drugs movie about three different lads. Nothing new but memorable.
You're ugly too - this year's movie about a mismatched pair in a strange location. Low-key but it worked.
Patrick's day - easily the best Irish release of the year. A mother messes up her son.

Average
Hallow - most of the better Irish horror movies seem to get ignored. Maybe because they're British-made?
Hit producer - first rule in film school, don't try and copy Hollywood movies as they'll always look like the cheap castoffs they are.
Pursuit - another action movie, using an Irish legend it's worth a look but tiresome to sit through.
Glassland - told from the view of the son looking after his alcoholic mother. Nothing new but worth a look.

Rubbish
Christmas star - an Irish Xmas movie that got no mention in our media. Says all you need to know about its quality.
Legend of Longwood - if a gender film quota gets introduced here this is the kind of crap that will get made more often.
Get up and go - apt title as you will want to walk out of the cinema during this tedious rubbish.
I used to live here - same setting as Glassland. Social realism without that nasty intelligence or actually saying something.

The good, the average, and the rubbish of 2014

Probably the weakest year so far this decade for Irish cinema releases. Some titles got screened exclusively outside of Dublin but made little impact. Here's a rundown of what I saw:

GOOD
Noble - impressive biopic that didn't do as well as it should have.

Food guide to love - another release that no-one noticed. Set in Dublin it eventually ran out of steam but is enjoyable enough.

AVERAGE
Guarantee - political horror about the banking collapse.

What if - OK romcom with a bit of intelligence, partly set in Dublin.

Jimmy's hall - small-scale movie about a man hounded out of Ireland

Songs for Amy - how many Irish romance movies got released this year? Set in Galway, this is one of the better ones.

RUBBISH
Standby - join-the-dots romcom with (mostly) Irish accents.

Out of here - middle-class rubbish about an art-school drop out. As dull as it sounds.

'71 - straight-to-DVD IRA thriller which got good reviews elsewhere.

Gold - the most inept title for an Irish movie since Sensation. 'Turd' would have been a better title.

A nightingale falling - another Big House movie but without the quality actors and Protestant outlook.

Mrs Brown's boys d'movie - TV adaptation comedy that fails to match older ones from the 1970s.

Frank - another overrated release from this director. Full of horrible characters and even worse music.

Run & jump - imagine if someone made a movie about how a man copes married to a disabled woman? That wouldn't be acceptable. Here's one with the roles reversed and it was about as original as that selfie its director posed for at the IFTAs!

Calvary - church bashers at it again in the most subtle of ways. Gleeson won't be smirking in a few years when no-one remember his movies!

Sea - if I wanted to get funding from our Film Board this is the kind of crap I would use. Exactly the kind of stuff that soaks up funding yet no-one really is impressed with the finished result.

Stag - it's one thing to copy obscure movies but here in Ireland we do it a little different. Yes, lets copy recent box-office hits from the States. Singer Rocky DeValera had more originality than this rubbish. Amy Huberman's in it too, enough said.

Stalker - seriously, this is just sh-t. There's a reason certain films don't get made and it's not because Irish directors don't have the 'balls' or whatever rubbish that FIS document states. About as subtle as Louis Walsh voting for Irish acts on the X-factor.