THE TEN WORST IRISH MOVIES THIS DECADE!

So far! Only three years in and there's no shortage of bad Irish films released this decade to choose from. Despite the buzz and hype lots of terrible stuff has been made but unlike in previous decades they usually don't have a major star.

One hundred mornings
Updating of an old Corman movie this is the biggest piece of crap in years. Loved the review on RTE's The View where the presenter and two trendies hailed it as a great movie but one honest guy said it was terrible. Lifeless, stylish, and laughably unoriginal this film has already been forgotten.

Pier
The kind of movie that gets shown in the CineMobile in Clare this is another terrible picture. It's just shi-t and terribly made. Another recent movie that will be soon lost.

Stella Days
Like going back to 1995 in a time machine this is the kind of crap the Film Board was set up to fund. Exactly the bland and dull movie Ireland does so well. Set in the 1950s it's exactly as expected. Hyped during production XtraVision are now selling the DVD for €6.

Stitches
The only thing worse than most Irish films is an Irish horror movie. Made by a director who works in the horror genre this is dire. The kind of movie that gets made on pre-sales and they phone in the production process.

Kiss for Jed
A creepy tale of tensions between a teenage girl and a middle-aged man in New York. This is wrong on so many levels. It looks like it was filmed on a phone. Any time something interesting happens e.g. a mob attack it happens off screen. Another debut feature from someone I hope never makes another.

Parked
Like 100 mornings this one has zero originality, lots of establishing shots, lifeless direction, contrived story, and uses too much style. It's laughably bad but in a boring way!

Runway
Another crap movie featuring cute kids, locals as extras, a magical story, overcoming the odds, and nice scenery. Irish cinema should be making the OPPOSITE to this stuff! This is as bad as it gets. No doubt sounded great on paper and probably would have been if made in Australia!

Shine of rainbows
Picture-postcard Irish cinema aimed at the American market. The latest version Flight of the doves. Kept expecting to see Dana appear in a scene!

Sensation
Of course it's only a coincidence that the lead actor is named Gleeson. Who says nepotism is alive and well in Irish cinema? Silly and dull movie about a farmer who sets up a brothel. Did this crap win a pitching award at the Galway Film Flead a few years back? Is that how it got made? Like a lot of these movies it probably sounded good on paper and no doubt could have been a great film if filmed in a really bleak environment like industrial Poland?

Happy ever afters
One reason Irish movies are so bad is because the people who make these are not film buffs. They don't understand the genre they're working in. The screwball comedy was alive and well in the 1930s. Even the ones in the 1950s were not as good. But did that stop the Irish Film Board from funding this travesty? Did they really think some contrived effort using classless actors from Fair City and bad weather would stand up against the greats in this genre. Think about it: how many screwball comedies have been made in the last 30 years? Very few. This is a very difficult genre to get right, timing is everything. Terrible, terrible movie.