TEN IRISH FILMS YET TO GET MADE!

Here's a list of ten movies that really should be made here instead of the festival fodder or mainstream rubbish we produce.

Western
Don't laugh, the most cinematic of film genres. We have the mountains, horses, and landscape too. How about a new sub-genre: the potato Western?

Realist horror
No, not the shaky, zoomy, camera horror that gets made here with bleached cinematography and lots of sound effects. How about a raw horror film that's shocking?

Bad taste
Something funny and tasteless along the lines of John Waters (not the journalist) or Russ Meyer?

Social realist
No shortage of stories these days. Something along the lines of Ken Loach?

Golf
We've the best golfers (well the Norides do) so why not an Irish golfing movie? Very few made in Hollywood too.

Live action & animation
How about an Irish movie with real actors interacting with cartoon characters? We have a strong animation industry but they seem to be aimed at kids?

Jedward!
Surely a Jedward movie about their adventures on tour would be a box-office hit?

Religion
A serious Christian film showing respect would be superior to our telefilm exposés about institutional abuse. Something similar to Catholics but not set in the future?

Mumblecore
Walking and talking and more walking for 90 minutes?

Torture porn
A former Anglo Irish Bank manager gets abducted from his Spanish holiday home and is brought back to Ireland. He's then tied to a chair and graphically asaulted by deranged pensioners who have lost their life savings?