Young offenders

Hardy bucks meets Grandmaster Cash! Set in Cork it's about two male teenagers who cycle to the coast to find floatsam of cocaine. On the way out the police are in pursuit while on the way back a disabled criminal follows. Lots of fast cuts at the start and then like the two leads it slows down on the road before running out of steam just before the end. The supporting cast are bizarre: a mother who sells fish, a local thug in prison, a drunk father, and an old man who mistakes the pair for relatives. Some stunning, rural locations and some blink and miss gags. Not as good as it thinks it is but has potential for a better sequel (or a Damo and Ivor feature). Everyone here seems to be in a different movie! Strange, they didn't use a song from successful Cork band Young offenders.

Title: The young offenders
Genre: Road
New/old: New
Cinema/DVD: Cinema

A date for mad Mary

Impressive debut feature from director Darren Thornton. Set in Drogheda it's about a violent woman who has to find a man to bring along to her friend's wedding. Despite the slight story the performances and casting are impressive (particularly the actress who played the bride-to-be). The music is all house music and it's interesting how it gets used in different scenes. What's really good about the movie is that you won't care for the characters at the beginning but eventually they become likeable. The film explores the tense relationships between different women; one good scene was the wedding speech written by Mary but spoken by another girl. Another was with the grandmother saying even a sniper wouldn't take Mary out! Another was the argument with the bride who claims everyone except Mary has moved on (the bride lives in some built-up Celtic Tiger estate!). There are lots of these working-class Irish dramas getting made recently but this is easily the best. It avoids the pointless clichés of recent Irish cinema (pianos, establishing shots, pained faces, drugs, hand-held camerawork, uneven performances). Compare this deep and moving wedding film with similar but awful Irish titles like Happy ever afters.

Title: A date for mad Mary
Genre: Drama
New/old: New
Cinema/DVD: Cinema

WHERE'S FMN?

Seems website Film Makers Network (fmn.ie) has gone. The one that defended 'talent' like Kirsten Sheridan; answered important questions like which is the best film college/course in Ireland (answer, none!); offended established names in the industry who bothered to post there; and discussed crap horror and sci-fi titles over and over. Then there were all those stupid posts about that Red camera. Can't think of any good threads except the one that pointed out how crap Anton was and someone replied that Graham Cantwell will deliver a good feature eventually. Still laughing about that! Anyway, forget the Film Making Nobodies, Shoot the cabbage is better and more informed and is still going strong after ½ a decade!

Cal

Another forgotten Irish movie from the 1980s. This is a drab production with bad acting. An IRA driver gets hired by the family of the husband his gang killed. Like an early Channel 4 production this is dated and not too good. Lots of dark lighting and brief scenes with cuts to different locations and characters. Some good bits of the hired hands travelling to and from work. Early part features a young Gerard Mannix Flynn. Film does its best to avoid anything remotely cinematic.

Title: Cal
Genre: IRA
New/old: Old
Cinema/DVD: DVD

Some mother's son

Another forgotten film from the 1990s. This one is about the hunger strikers and like most Irish titles from that era it resembles a drab TV movie. Lots of short scenes, tight shots, dialogue heavy, respectful music, huge cast, over-scripted, and rather lifeless. Two women from across the class divide team up when their sons go to jail. Not as involving as it should be and the quick cuts to different characters and locations get tiresome. Seems to focus more on the women involved but it doesn't really work. You don't sympathise with the prisoners because of their crimes. There are several scenes where cuts are made between different locations but it's not done well. It's like Ordinary decent criminal instead of The general. Characters are one-dimensional and stereotypical, kids with red hair, unsmiling police/army, friendly IRA gunmen. Even Graham Cantwell could have done a better job directing this!

Title: Some mother's son
Genre: IRA
New/old: Old
Cinema/DVD: DVD

My name is Emily

Impressive movie about a woman travelling up the country to rescue her dad from a mental home. She teams up with a class friend and borrows a relative's old car. Like most Irish films it's rather bland but this movie is above average due to likeable characters, short-film techniques, music that suits, and a slight storyline. The first part is impressive due to the brief shots, then it slows for the car journey. It's like a short film expanded to feature length and we need more titles like this. Doesn't try to show off and the style suits the film. The ending is confusing and you'll eventually lose interest as the characters care more about what's going on than the audience but this is still a fine Irish film. The low-budget actually suits for a change.

Title: My name is Emily
Genre: Road
New/old: New
Cinema/DVD: Cinema

PREVIOUSLY AWARDED THIS EVENING

Stutterer wins. Eva again. Lenny wins. Incredible night. Let's carry on. Film is an independent art form, first to respond to disaster, advanced views. That was sh-te!

STANDARD GETS EVER HIGHER AND HIGHER!

Room wins, amazing Lenny.

ANDREW SCOTT

Female on film that's no TV - acting's better here. The director is there not her dad. And she's not having a curry!

AMY

Dram nominations, these are all sh-t. Where's the film titles? Western in Irish.

SUPPORTING ACTRESS IN DRAMA

Is this crap over yet? Five women nominated: this is more TV stuff. Where's the category for best Irish film blog? Sarah wins. To Joe the driver.