Tara road

Yet another contrived chick movie this one is a house-swap story where MacDowell moves to Dublin after her son gets killed (in a blackly funny scene). There's a silly sub-plot about an affair but it's well made. Also, good is the contrast between the classy American and the lewd, wealthy Irish. Makes many interesting comments about Southside Dublin society which may have not been intentional? Other than that it's an extremely average movie whch has been made several times already.

Ryan's daughter

One of the most famous of Irish movies this one is probably Lean's worst picture. What should have been been a small-scale story is given the epic and extended treatment. Villagers ham it up for the camera, they also outnumber the small number of houses in the area. Scenery distracts the viewer from the slight story. The best part of the film was the relationship between Mitchum and Miles. Other than that it makes Far and Away look like a documentary! Still, very famous film that stood the test of time and gets a mention in every book on Irish cinema. Mills' character was later copied in the film adaptation of The Field.

Magdalene sisters

First the news articles, then the books, then the TV documentaries, and finally the movie. Jaded film that should have been made two decades earlier and caused a sensation. Of course that would have been controversial and probably banned. The kind of movie where you know what's going to happen. The kind of movie that gets great reviews because of its subject matter but is quickly forgotten. A lot of the scenes are so overcooked that they lose their effectiveness. For example that scene where the cardboard-baddie nun counts her money is like something off a book cover. This is the kind of stuff that appeals to a wide audience - the ones who prefer television to cinema.

Disco pigs

Terrible, terrible movie about two romantic neighbours who are inseparable until Cassidy moves away. Then Murphy follows her and they both cause trouble. Lots of repetitive scenes, nasty violence, a silly sex game, nightclubs, fancy camerawork, and hot air. Style over substance, pomp over purpose, respectablility over talent, and hype over content. This is the kind of sh*te that gets used as an example of good Irish cinema. There is no God!

Moondance

Typical movie made here back in the '90s. Coming of age drama, rural vs urban settings, lush cinematography, Van Morrison on the soundtrack, family tensions, emigration, and Brendan Grace! A German girl divides two brothers. Cinema for middle-aged housewives, the kind of rubbish the IFB decided was the way forward for Irish cinema but ended up in a cul-de-sac.

Portrait of the artist as a young man

Good movie based on the Joyce novel. There are two parts - he's a kid in school and gets bullied, then he's older and forms his own outlook on life. There are some impressive voiceovers and scenes on a beach. Intelligent discussions about society and observations on the era. Lots of distinguised Irish actors appear in supporting roles. Lots of Dublin landmarks from the '70s - some of which are now gone. Won't see this movie mentioned too often when Irish cinema gets discussed but it's superior to most titles.

Tiger's tail

It's a new era now! Won't be long before Irish kids will be asking 'mammy what was a Celtic Tiger?'. They'll look back on John Boorman's Tiger's tail and realise that this movie warned everyone. If you let go of that tail then it's all over. Of course this is what happened. In Boorman's film: Temple Bar and hospital casualty wards resemble something from an RTE documentary where the event has been reconstructed using the worst extras they could find. There's nothing subtle about Tiger's tail. It's all about hammering the audience with the excessive orchestral score and platitudes that everyone knows already. Then there's Gleeson's unsympathetic character - we don't care about him. The only good scene was when his double arrived at the house and began crashing the gate. Then there are loads of familiar Irish actors - the ones you're sick of seeing in every mainstream movie made here. Do these people all have the same agent who happens to be married to a casting director? In relation to Boorman's other stuff this movie is down there with Exorcist 2! Imagine if Claude Chabrol had directed this film - could have been really good?

JOSEPH STRICK R.I.P.

It's really sad that this week's death of American director Joseph Strick has been ignored in Ireland. Responsible for two James Joyce films (Ulysses, Portrait of the artist as a young man) he was one of the best known international directors to work here. Brave enough to film Ulysses, he received an Oscar nomination for its script. Even better was Portrait of the artist as a young man which was filmed here a decade later.

WEAK BOX OFFICE PERFORMANCE OF IRISH FILMS - WHO CARES?

Interesting article in today's Irish Times newspaper called Box office breakdown. Basically it states what everyone knows - Irish films aren't good enough to do well in our cinemas. So what I say!

WHERE'S IRISH CINEMA'S POVERTY PORN?

There was a good article in last week's Guardian* newspaper. It was called Budget cuts are no problem - British film is best when it keeps it real. The gist of the article was that social realism is a cheap way to make truly great cinema. Then the writer welcomed the fact that the new British government will cause more 'poverty porn' films due to their announced budget cuts! However, across the sea here in Ireland it's more important to spend up to €90K on a state-funded short film! This outdated filmmaking model has stopped directors from tackling contemporary issues. Because when you're caught up in making a large budget short you want to make large budget feature films. This means 'pulling out the stops' and producing something so overcooked it resembles a glossy TV movie. Social realist films are the opposite. They involve mundane locations such as parks and cafés, the cinematography is usually flat, and there's subdued music on the soundtrack. All this is a big no no for most Irish directors. Most filmmakers here are overtrained, technically obsessed, and have nothing to say. They are afraid to tackle reality and are more interested in making an Irish version of a Hollywood genre movie. Even though we're in recession and everyone has a story for Joe Duffy most Irish filmmakers are just too middle-class to make films about real people. The only recent Irish examples in this genre (Foxes and Pavee Lackeen) were both directed by foreigners.
*28-6-2010

Summer of the flying saucer

Without a doubt the worst Irish movie from the last decade. Yes, even worse than over-directed crap like Eden and Anton. Even worse than Kirsten Sheridan's next movie! Imagine an amateur theatre group decided to make a feature film with a group of transition-year filmmakers from a local school. Now imagine a script written by a primary-school teacher about aliens visiting the area back in the 1960s. That's about it. How in name of the higher almighty did this pile of sh*te get funding? Well done to the IFB for this! When people say Irish cinema is in great shape it's because they haven't seen stuff like Summer of the flying saucer. The clothes look like costumes, the acting is straight from the Xmas panto, the music on the soundtrack contains every cliché you've heard from all those famous sci-fi films, the story about aliens stranded on earth is staggeringly unoriginal, the slow pacing would tire you, the intelligence is non-existent, and the whole film sucks so much that I woke up this morning with a headache.