JOE WAS RIGHT!

One of the funniest Liveline radio shows was the recent one about Charlie Casanova. The presenter made an interesting point: The guard wasn't great. Yet, our esteemed critics gushed over this movie because it was a commercial success and was watchable. Duffy said some people found it to be badly made and racist. They're right! But like the Veronica Guerin movie no-one will say it was overrated because it takes balls to do this.

A SUGGESTION FOR OUR HORROR DIRECTORS!

Everyone agrees that our horror movies are terrible? While it's OK to defend rubbish like Anton or Eden no-one in their right mind would try to defend Shrooms/Boy eats girl/Dorothy/Daisy chain/Wake Wood/Rawhead Rex/Dead bodies? So from a non-horror fan here's a suggestion? Instead of copying Hollywood/British stuff why not move towards the European model? Most people know that the teenage slasher movie originated in Europe in the late 1960s. The vampire movie was done in Germany in the 1920s. Why can't Irish horror directors move towards the Euro-horror stuff? Surely if we made horror films with a continental slant they would be more interesting than the current rubbish we produce?

GOOD LETTER IN THE IRISH DAILY MAIL!

Today about the funding of the Arts where the writer says it's resulted in rubbish classical music getting composed which no-one likes. Same could be applied to our films? Too many bad titles which never get a release and the ones that do get pulled after a week. I mean who exactly was A Kiss for Jed aimed at? Teenage girls from Northern Ireland? How and why did this crap movie get made and funded by taxpayers? Irish Arts and film will never succeed until it moves away from Government funding and exists on its own.

FRONTLINE

Not just a crap Irish movie but also a TV show where this week they discussed public funding of the Arts. Of course Irish cinema got few mentions because we have no true artists working in that area. But an interesting point got made: why isn't the private sector funding the Arts more? Organisations like Ryanair could fund the Arts instead of taxpayers? Why is the Government funding the Arts (including film)? Surely, our filmmakers should get more private funds to make their 'masterpieces' instead of crawling to the Film Board?

IMITATION, THE INSINCEREST FLATTERY FORM?

Seems not only are most Irish movies unoriginal but now our film blogs too? That means you Jason Coyle with the derivative web log CineIreland. Love the '10 reason to be optimistic about Irish film in 2012' post. Where did you get that idea from? Then there's the reference to Sex lives of the potato men which also got a mention on this blog. Still, your lack of knowlege on our films (and posts) show up the inferiority of your whole blog. For the best information on Irish cinema there's only one blog worth reading and that's SHOOT THE CABBAGE!

NEW IRISH STORYTELLERS AGAIN!

A while back I said there would be more posts about the book New Irish storytellers. There were some interesting ideas mentioned in this average book. So I had another browse through it last night and noted these points:

1. SHORT FILMS - this was a result of the first Film Board closing down. There was a campaign to keep Irish filmmaking going so everyone focused on making short films.
2. EUROPUDDINGS - these are films funded by different countries together. Thus there was a delay in directors following on to a second feature because it was so difficult to obtain funding from different sources.
3. 1980'S DIRECTORS - they were more interested in having control over their projects and were not bothered with finding a full budget. That's explains why their titles are more interesting than most stuff funded by the second Film Board.

IRISH CINEMA IS LIKE THE SCOTLAND FOOTBALL TEAM!

Overrated, lost any potential years ago, bleak future, silly excuses, with the wrong people selected to represent us, and no match for the Yanks!

Man of Aran

NOT a documentary though most think it is. A family hunt sharks and collect seaweed because there's no soil to grown food. Lots of water waves and sea while the cast are well dressed. One of the most famous of Irish films and it inspired other famous films (Terra trema). Shame we don't make more stuff like this instead of the sh-te our esteemed Film Board funds. From Gainsborough studios who also produced the previously reviewed Oh, Mr Porter!

FILM REVIEW!

The latest Film Review annual is out and something bizarre happened. All of the Irish titles got great reviews. Perrier's bounty was given FIVE stars! Is the book's editor best pals with Simon Perry?

IRISH FILM NOT LASTING!

Seems both Charlie Casanova and A kiss for Jed got pulled from the mainstream cinemas after a week. Almost twenty years of the Film Board and they still can't fund successful titles?

Clash of the ash

Forgotten title from the first Film Board. Running about an hour it's set in Cork in the 1980s. A young hurler refuses to toe the line with a job in the bank awaiting. There's a bus running to England and after rows with the parents and lads from a rival village after attending a concert by The Big Guns there's only one way out. Nothing special but unlike the stuff made these days it's not obsessed with winning awards or trying to appear commercial. Lots of tracking shots. Movie shows a young person's hell of living in a small Irish town. Young people should watch this movie to see how sh-te it was in 1980s Ireland with the older generation hassling the younger one.

Title: Clash of the ash

Genre: Sport

New/old: Old

Cinema/DVD: DVD

Kiss for Jed

Yet another Irish movie about two mis-matched people in a strange location. This time it's New York (do we really need another movie with this city as a location?) and a camerman travels with a teenage girl from Northern Ireland (who got an 'A' in Leaving Cert English!). It's about a TV show and the goal is to kiss Jed Wood (why the similar name to Jedward?). Unremarkable and lame movie that has a few good moments but like a lot of Irish movies - WHY DID THIS GET MADE? Loved the 'original' idea of the radio talk show following the story which was already done in Round Ireland with a fridge.

Come on Eileen

Impressive family drama about an English women (with an Irish background) who is an alcoholic. She works in a cricket club and deals with her son and daughter. Then they all head to a music festival and that's about it! What I like about this movie is that it's funny: Keith Allen says he's Welsh not English, Eileen drunk, the daughter fighting with Eileen, the description of Ireland as a 'banana republic', and the silly conversations about what everyone did when they were younger. Funded by the Film Board it's better than a lot of their higher-profile efforts.

KISS FOR JED OUT NOW!

In our cinemas. Looks sh-t!

White Irish drinkers

Routine crime drama set in 1975. Lots of self-conscious direction and over-written scenes. It's about two brothers who don't get along (surprise!) and their battles with the father. Makes a big deal about the future: disco dancers get barred from a pub, the rise of computers, and the Rocky Horror Show. Story revolves around a Rolling Stones' concert and a planned robbery. Nothing you haven't seen before with these Irish-American movies and adds nothing new. Also, I've never a movie with so many little-known actors who resemble famous actors.

TEN REASONS WHY CHARLIE'S CRITICS ARE WRONG!

Even in today's Evening Herald magazine they slate Charlie Casanova. This being during an interview with the star! So to explain what's going 'wrong' here are ten reasons:

Charlie Casanova

The best Irish film this year! A respectable-looking man sleeps with his friend's wife and then runs over a pedestrian. After that he goes on a rant before killing a scanger, friend, and attacker. Filmed badly on digital video this effort has something no other Irish film has - anger! There are some impressive scenes: the friends around the table, a woman getting oral sex from her dog(!), the final attack, and the music is impressive. Also good is the stand-up routine and the talk to the mirror after the funeral.

TEN THINGS TO LEARN FROM CHARLIE CASANOVA ON LIVELINE!

RTÉ radio's top show had a ½-hour talk about Charlie Casanova this week. Lots of talk and nonsense. So here's what Shoot the Cabbage learned!

NOW ON SUMMER POSTS!

Due to old college library closing most nights this blog will only be posting a few times each week for the summer.

KISS FOR JED OUT FRIDAY!

Already getting reviewed in the papers.

JOYCE REDMAN RIP

Famous Irish actress has passed away. Films included One of Our Aircraft Is Missing, Tom Jones, and Othello (1960's version). Completely ignored here but highly rated in British theatre.

Long Good Friday

Impressive British gangster movie about the IRA ruining a London mobster's turf. Lots of Irish character actors appear and the movie is fast paced. Difficult to follow at times (there's a lot going on), the music is great, and the locations are well known. Lots of hard men, sleazy pubs, and a naked scouser! Famous final scene done in long take. The director went on to make the Veronica Guerin movie When the sky falls which like swimmer Michelle De Bruin has been airbrushed from history!

CHARLIE CASANOVA

Is out today and is getting strictly two-star reviews. Also getting a release in Britain.

BIZARRE!

One of our many hack directors, Shimmy Marcus, has an article in today's Irish mirror newspaper on how he quit smoking!

WE DON'T HAVE A FILM INDUSTRY!

We have an Irish Film Board industry! That's from some website discussing the row between the Irish Times and Charlie Casanova movie. If its director never works again in this country it will be NO surprise!

HERE'S HOW THIS BLOG IS GETTING ACCESSED!

NEW JIMI HENDRIX MOVIE

is getting made here soon. Starring one of rap group Outcast it's about the musician's early years in his career. It's called All is by my side.

MORE JOHN FORD!

They're showing his silent Iron horse (out on DVD for years!) and the famous documentary Directed by JF (not on DVD!) at some event soon in Dublin. Shame that other famous Hollywood directors who had a strong Irish influence in their work such as Lloyd Bacon and Raoul Walsh are ignored here?

CHARLIE CASANOVA CONTROVERSY!

Seem's the Irish times newspaper critic is complaining that his review of new Irish movie Charlie Casanova is misquoted - on Dublin bus! He said in the paper 'I would rather drink dilute caustic soda then sit through Charlie Casanova again'. However, Dublin Bus are saying he actually liked the film! Let me guess: the promoters of Anton are behind this?

WHERE ARE THE MOVIES ABOUT IRISH INVENTORS?

Forget Michael Collins and all the revised history stuff. Why are we not making films about our TRULY great men (and women)? Who first split the atom? Who invented the war submarine? Who devised the Kelvin temperature scale? Who invented modern chemistry? Who invented radiotherapy? Who invented cheese and onion crips? All Irishmen! So why are we not making films about these people instead of crap like Parked? The biopic was a staple genre in the classic Hollywood period. Sadly, in Ireland we make dull movies about dull people. Ignorance and a blinkered outlook on Irish history is to blame.

Chaos

The DVD cover says 'Death games' yet the opening credits say Chaos so I'll go with the latter. Only in Ireland would a crap marriage drama like Eden use different colour schemes with a stylised look while a futuristic action movie look so bland. Even better the movie is so fast-paced it's difficult to follow. Unlike the recent Lockout this one makes several references to Ireland hence this review. Not as bad as expected and showed promise but completely forgotten. Lots of bikes, chainsaws, fire, Connemara, facepaint, and Tommy O'Neill!

PICKED UP A DVD!

Called Death games, a long-forgotten Irish movie from about ten years back. Review to follow!

WE'RE GETTING A DRIVE-IN!

In Dublin soon, somewhere in Ringsend. One in Cork already. About time we got a drive-in cinema!

Albert Nobbs

Fine movie, don't know why all the poor reviews? Houseworker Nobbs pretends to be a man and meets a similar case. Lots of famous faces from recent and older Irish movies. Gleeson goes down on Maria Doyle Kennedy! The first part of the movie Close appears to wear special makeup while the second part she doesn't seem to wear any. Sad story, low-key film. Dublin looks well and uses its locations effectively.

CHARLIE CASANOVA OUT!

Next week. That's according to some poster in town.

ONCE THE STAGE MUSICAL RECEIVES NOMINATIONS!

At the Tony awards. Great that this movie has been so successful with its musical adaptation. Still remember it getting filmed around Dublin.