WHY DID THE IRISH FILM BOARD FU*K IT UP FOR A DECADE?

Back in 1993 there were great celebrations when the Irish Film Board got re-established. Everyone expected another Neil Jordan to appear, Oscars getting flung at us, school leavers wanted to study filmmaking, and new Irish films were to rival Ulysses! However it soon dawned that things like this were not going to happen. Instead we got loads and loads of sh*te. Stuff so bad that some titles will never be seen again!

You see only certain kinds of films were allowed funding. This was for a number of reasons:
- the First board (1982/'87) had funded several miserable titles which portrayed modern Ireland as a kip
- the First Board funded films that made no money
- the success of director Jim Sheridan prompted the new board into funding similar titles
- the new Board was based in Galway resulting in an mystical outlook to film!

So what did we get? What happened was a lot of films in a small number of conservative genres. What were these genres?

The main one was the 'heritage' film These were set in the middle of the twentieth century in rural areas. They usually had families in conflict with each other for some historical reason. Titles included Country, How Harry Became a Tree, Broken harvest, and Korea. Extremely bland, silly titles that should have been made back in the '50s. Of course back then they did make a few titles like this such as No resting place which were much better. They looked like low-budget Merchant Ivory castoffs without the impressive cinematography.

Another genre was the 'magical children's' film. Stuff like Frankie Starlight, Boy from Mercury, My friend Joe, and Pete's Meteor. The kind of films that are made for adults but should really be aimed at young children. It was another conservative genre that bored the pants off anyone who lived outside the West of Ireland. They weren't magical and certainly the children had no interest.

Also, another bland genre that the board loved funding - the 'coming of age' drama. Titles here included Last of the high kings, Moondance, and Peaches. Some nice inoffensive young man falling for a girl. Aaah - pass me the airline bag please!

Then of course there had to be the 'IRA' movie. Films like The Boxer, Silent grace, Bogwoman, and Further gesture all made in a bland telefilm style. Thank goodness Hunger finally arrived to show how sh*te these films were!

Even worse was the 'Celtic Tiger' genre. This happened because none of the Film Board's early stuff made money (except Circle of Friends whch was actually a Hollywood title) nor got good reviews! People wanted to move on and forward. So what better than to show modern Ireland with all its café culture, sophisticated living, apartments, and all that crap. So we got dreadful stuff like About Adam, Goldfish memory, Flick, and Trouble with sex. Stuff so bad that I now love the recession!

So what's the problem with these genres then? Firstly, no true film fan would watch these titles because they are middle-of-the road genres. In other words they were better suited to television. Secondly, if you wanted to make something different such as an Irish horror film you were fu*ked! Thirdly, the sheer conservative nature of these films made for dull viewing. Heck, the filmmakers didn't even have the nerve to take the pi*s! Instead we got a bland and routine filmmaking style over and over. It was cookie cutter stuff with dull cinematography. Too much emphasis on the rubbish script. Too little filmmaking ambition. People who were really TV directors making crap. Sad but true. What was a great time for Irish film turned into a disaster. People lost the excitment when a new Irish movie got released. The buzz was obsolescent! Even worse was the realisation that we didn't have anyone to 'replace' Neil Jordan or Jim Sheridan. These new filmmakers just didn't have the ambition or talent to break out internationally. One of the saddest parts is that a lot of these titles are impossible to find here on DVD. It's like a coverup! Don't see our films - they're embarrassing! Even worse are the number of Irish directors who made one feature and then moved into television. Sure, that's where the real money is. But if that's what they want why did they get funding to make a feature?