Your past is showing (Naked truth)

Another forgotten black and white movie. This one is from the 1950s and is like an Ealing comedy except with more plot and fewer posh actors! The Irish part involves Peter Sellers visiting a Dublin pub where he does a good accent only to get found out as an English man and has his face punched! The rest of the movie involves a comic blackmail of several people by the great Dennis Price. Final scene set on an airship is hilarious.

IRELAND'S GREATEST ACTORS: RICHARD TODD

Passed away last year and didn't get much of a mention in this country. Fair enough as he considered himself to be British (though he was born here). Impressive filmography: Hasty heart (the one where they say 'Yank knows a bit about politics' and Ronald Reagan appears!), Stage fright, Saint Joan, and The Longest day. One of those faces that appeared a lot on TV in the old movies.

WE WANT A RUBBERBANDITS MOVIE!

Anyone with a pulse in Ireland would have heard of the Rubberbandits over the last week. The hip-hop comic duo with plastic bags on their heads are certainly making news. It's about time we have an Irish rap movie? So let's give them a movie because the thought viewing the Film Board's releases for 2011 makes me want to emigrate.

WHERE'S THE IRISH XMAS MOVIE?

If there's one movie that has yet to get made here it's a Christmas movie. The only close one was the classic Scrooge by Irish director Brian Hurst back in the '50s. Why is there no Irish Xmas movie? It would be a box-office hit and get screened every December on local television. Surely there's an old Xmas story by one of our famous writers that could be adapted into a movie?

LIST OF IRISH TV MOVIES

While most Irish features resemble telefilms a few titles were genuinely made for television. Here's a list of the ones who have received a theatrical/DVD release:

Da

One of the few Irish features based on a play that's just as good. Yet another fine movie from between the two Film Boards. Set and filmed in Dalkey (pronounced 'Dolkee') it's about a middle-aged man's conversions with his father who's now gone. Dialogue heavy with lots of characters walking around the area. Little mentioned movie but available on DVD. Directed by the famous Western character actor Matt Clarke.

Butcher boy

Easily one of the best Irish movies from the '90s though not as good as it thinks it is! Uses every cliché of mid-Twentieth century rural Ireland but in an interesting way. A young man gets 'messed up' by his surroundings. Got a bit extreme when they had the atom bomb scene and the impression is that Jordan is saying to younger Irish filmmakers "this is how it's done!". The current Film Board has failed to find a new Neil Jordan!

Hunger

Very impressive movie about Bobby Sands' last few months. Tells the story from both sides (officers and prisoners). Uses lots of non-dialogue sequences and impressive images. Best scenes: the guy getting shot dead in front of his mother; the very long, static shot at the table; the washing out of the hallway; the guy standing against a wall in the snow; and a young Sands on holiday. Easily one of the best Irish movies from the last decade.

IRISH CINEMA IS JUST 'HOLLYWOOD PASTICHE'!

If there's one 'standout problem' with most Irish movies it's that they are basically weak versions of Hollywood movies. By definition they can never be as 'good' because Hollywood has the stars, scriptwriters, glamour, awards, publicity, and genre. The system in Ireland is set up to produce these 'Hollywood pastiche' films. Stuff that no-one really likes and fails commercially at the box office. The system in Ireland is set up to avoid producing films that are NOT Hollywood pastiche. No-one abroad will take us seriously as a filmmaking nation when we continue to produce Hollywood pastiche cinema. The only way to stand out is to start producing feature films that are new, fresh, different, unique, original, and confuse because audiences have seen nothing like it before?

Love and rage

Another little-known Irish movie from the '90s this one is set a century earlier on the West coast's largest island. It's about a rogue who befriends a rich Protestant lady and abuses her before emigrating. Kind of like Michal Winner's The Nightcomers. However, the film is totally ruined by bad editing (a big problem in Irish cinema). Although technically impressive the scenes fly by before they make sense and it gets dull. Shame, as these kind of Irish films are needed again.

Round Ireland with a fridge

Average but likeable road movie about a famous(?) English guy travelling around the Republic with a kitchen freezer. It's done for a bet but the winnings are less than the price of the fridge! Some famous faces appear: Nik Kershaw, Sean Hughes, and Ed Byrne. Didn't get much publicity here (maybe because it was filmed mostly in England?) but it's an enjoyable movie that could have been better.