WHERE'S THE IRISH ROBOT MONSTER?

Doubt many have even heard of this movie but it's one of those grade Z sci-fi efforts from the 1950s. Cheaply and badly made with lots of unintentionally funny and bizarre scenes. Yet once seen it's not forgotten unlike most Irish feature films. So here are the questions: do we really need another Kirsten Sheridan movie; do we really need another Dublin gangster film; do we really need another contrived comedy about two mismatched men in a strange Irish location? No, no, and no. What Irish cinema needs is something along the lines of Robot monster!

CHARLIE CASANOVA WEBSITE EXPIRES!

Seems the offical website for the new Irish movie Charlie Casanova has gone! The film hasn't even been released yet. Looks like another post-production loan is needed from our Film Board!

BLOCKBUSTER YEAR?

Another Sindo newspaper article on the 'excellent' prospects for this year! As usual it's hype and more hype. A new Neil Jordan movie is on the way. 'This is the start of a stellar year for Irish film' says the paper with Dollhouse and Shadow dancer on the way. Then there's At swim two birds to get made soon. So here's a question: has anyone been to see Haywire? This was one of the hyped films made here recently and is getting terrible and one-star reviews. So why does the Sindo think that all of these new Irish releases will be 'blockbusters'? In fact this blog predicts that ALL of these Irish titles will FAIL at the box office in 2012/13. The Irish Film industry is all about hyping new titles and then quietly forgetting about these titles when they get a release. When a quality low-budget Irish film comes out e.g. Once no-one here notices until it does well abroad.

SHADOW DANCER

Latest IRA movie and it supposed to have gotten a good reception at Sundance. Even better the British are naturally calling it a British film while the Irish press are calling it an 'Irish, English and French' co-production!

HMV IRISH SELECTION?

They have more Irish DVDs in the non-Irish sections than on those shelves! Someone needs to tell them that not all Irish movies have a shamrock/sheep/IRA/Roddy Doyle title on the cover! They'll probably be closing down this year anyway.

VOLTA ONLINE

Big noise this week about Volta launching an online movie site. Thing is they've been out for ages. You either view or download a movie. Lots of Irish titles but they're actually cheaper to buy on DVD. However several Irish titles seem to only be availabe from their site?

OSCARS ARE BULLSH*T!

Even more Irish nomations with a second short listed this year. So is this what our film industry is all about? Almost twenty years in existence and our Film Board is a 'success' because of these nominations? Where's the Irish feature film that receives ten Oscar nominations? Is our film industry set up to produce good short films yet bad features? Where are the Irish cult movies? The ones that don't win awards yet find a devoted audience? Where are the short films that get expanded into great features ala Napoleon Dynamite or Dark Star? There's something wrong when this country is a great place to work - if you make short films?

OSCARS LIST!

Actor/director Peter McDonald has receive a nomination for his short film. No doubt the Irish press will go into full hype mode when they find out! Also, the film Albert Nobbs has received an acting nomination.

IFTA TO GIVE FINNOULA FLANAGAN A LIFETIME AWARD

When they screen a montage of her appearances will they include the scene from Yes man when her character offers Jim Carrey oral sex?

PATRICK JOLLEY RIP

Co-director of Sugar has passed away.

NEW IRISH FILM CALLED MEETING ON THE STAIRS

Assuming it's a feature with the trailer on YouTube. It looks like some kind of romantic drama without the comedy, title is terrible, is badly filmed on video, all of the actors are the same age, and it looks sh*te.

TV3 BOYCOTT THE IFTAS!

Again! This time it's for good as their programmes were being ignored. The sooner this IFTA awards nonsense goes away the better.

IFTA RISING STARS!

Emmett Scanlan, Chris O'Dowd, Rebecca Daly, and John McDonagh are the nominees. Who cares? It's just another stupid award. Why don't the IFTA have a Best Irish Feature Film not funded by the Film Board? That would be a good idea?

HAYWIRE OUT FRIDAY

Seems the next Irish-themed movie is out this week and is called Haywire.

ANOTHER LIGHTHOUSE!

Might as well mention this: the Lighthouse cinema in Dublin is to reopen. Never liked it much, too far out from the city centre and too spacious! Production company Element is behind this.

SARAH BOLGER COMPARES THE IFTA AWARD ...

with a swimming plaque, in the Irish newspapers. Not sure what that is but if that actress is slagging the IFTAs then it's fine by us!

EIGHT HUNDRED POSTS!

The world's leading Irish cinema blog now has 800 posts. Shame so few followers but that's what happens when the truth gets told!

HOT PRESS HAVING A LAUGH?

Current issue of Hot press magazine has an article on the ones to watch for 2012 in Irish film. Lots of bland acting faces there but one name stood out. Kirsten Sheridan! How in the name of almighty can this talentless hack be considered a new talent for 2012? She's been making films since the late 1990s and not very well. Now she's a new talent to watch? Hot press are having a laugh if they rate Sheridan as a new talent considering she has none and has been in the public eye for the last FIFTEEN years. How many chances will she be given? Here's a prediction: at the end of this year when Hot press list their films of the year Dollhouse will not get a mention!

JIM SHERIDAN TO DIRECT A KIDS' MOVIE!

That's according to reports in today's newspapers. As if his career isn't downhill already now he wants to make a "magical children's" film. Sad that one of our top directors has fallen so low but outside of this blog who cares?

EVENING HERALD SLATING THE IFTAS ALREADY!

The nominations are just out but today's Evening herald newspaper has criticised the IFTAs for nominating films that haven't been released yet. The IFTA claims that these nominated films are punching 'above its weight and really deliver'. Then the Herald asks: 'how about delivering some of these movies to a cinema'. Exactly!

EVENING HERALD SPOT ON!

They give a couple of Irish films on television tonight the correct star ratings. That's one for the overrated Breakfast on Pluto and three for the little-seen Poitn. Spot on!

IFTA NOMINATIONS BIG JOKE!

For some reason there are only four titles nominated for Best Film. Last year was an impressive twelve months for Irish cinema but the usual disregard for most titles happens again. These awards are a joke and give a limited view of Irish cinema. As expected some nominated titles have not yet been released (Albert Nobbs, Stella days, and Charlie Casanova). The other one is of course The guard. Yep, big budget, and hyped films get nominated at the IFTAs.

IFTA NOMINATIONS OUT TOMORROW!

It's that time of year again! Slagging the IFTAs season! The nominations will be out tomorrow for our 'esteemed' Irish Film and Television Academy awards. Guess what? Shoot the cabbage predicts that the Best Film category will include titles that have not yet been released. Also, one of the acting nominations will have the surname Gleeson or Ronan! What a pile of CRAP these awards are. They have no significance in the reel world. The winning films do not perform better at the box office the following week. Can't wait to see the list.

IRISH FILM BOARD TO BE SCRAPPED?

That's according to the front page of today's Sunday independent newspaper. Terrible news indeed. Who wil fund €90,000 short films now? Who will fund the distribution of recent masterpieces such as Perrier's bounty? Who will fund Kirsten Sheridan's next directorial effort? If only this blog had a sarcasm image?

Agnes Browne

Average but enjoyable movie set in the 1960s. Different to the TV series though some of the dialogue and actors are the same. After her husband dies Agnes (Huston) visits a money lender and then her friend falls ill. But Tom Jones arrives to uplift the movie. There's a romance with a French baker. Brenda O'Carroll appears as a wino. Nothing special but worth a look.

AGNES BROWNE DVD!

Finally got this movie on DVD, seems to be on sale in Ireland again.

MRS BROWN'S BOYS MOVIE?

Now that over eight million people in Britain are watching Mrs Brown's boys on television maybe another movie is due? The last one came out in the 1990s but was completely different to the current show.

KIRSTEN SHERIDAN IN THE NEWS AGAIN!

Ireland's most hyped filmmaker has a new film out called Dollhouse and it's been selected for a premiere in Berlin. Can't be any worse than Dreamhouse?

WHAT'S OUT FOR 2012?

Not much announced but Charlie Casanova seems to be the next release.

MAUREEN POTTER

Good to see old episodes of the Late late show online and the Maureen Potter special is good. Didn't know she was offered the stage role of Funny girl before Streisand? Potter's only major film appearances were in a few Joyce adaptations.

SEEN THE REWIND DVD ON SALE!

Hard to find but there are a small number of copies in the shops. Strange that this IFTA-winning film is so difficult to buy?