Master of the world

Dated movie from the 1960s with Vincent Price trying to stop wars around the world. He uses an airship to attack from the sky. A group of people (including Charles Bronson) get held hostage on the ship. In one scene they visit Ireland to reload water and one guy remarks he sold guns to the British so he's not popular there. Rather flat and doesn't fulfil its potential. Some scenes are similar to a Wes Anderson film.

Title: Master of the world

Genre: Sci-fi

New/old: Old

Cinema/DVD: DVD

JIM SHERIDAN CRITICISES CRITICISM OF SINGING FOR THE HOMELESS!

One of Ireland's many forgotten film directors has slated some politician for daring so say what the rest of us already know. These celebrities getting their mugs in the papers as they sing their dirges to support Dublin's homeless are wasting their time. They're only trying to highlight the issue he says. There must be about three people left in Ireland who don't know about our homeless issue! Like his movies Sheridan can only see this issue from one angle. They should look after their own people he says. Does our most overrated director realise this problem is really a refusing to move outside Dublin issue. How many of these homeless have had their house repossessed by a bank. I would guess a big fat zero. How many of these homeless have mental health or addiction issues? I would guess just under 100%. Even better, how come none of the 'talent' Sheridan has inspired will bother to make a film about our 'homeless crisis'?

Last right

The kind of dull crap our Film Board now funds thanks to their new gender quota policy. An American returns to Cork after meeting an old man on the plane who dies. Because they have same surname people think they're related and he agrees to escort the coffin to Northern Ireland. Probably sounded good on paper but it's tedious, unfunny, boring and unoriginal. Comic scenes that aren't funny, sex scenes that aren't romantic, drama scenes that aren't dramatic; uneven scenes that veer in tone. Set at Christmas but there's nothing festive about it. Like their car this movie remains in first gear. The only time I was surprised was when Haircut 100 appeared on the soundtrack. Let's face it, Ireland is too small in area for a good road movie. What's talented Brian Cox doing in this contrived rubbish? 

Title: The last right
Genre: Road 
New/old: New
Cinema/DVD: Cinema

Irishman

Based on real events this is a three-hour movie set across several decades after WW2. Well-cast with lots of the extras looking like they belong in earlier decades. A truck driver for the Teamsters union gets hired by an Italian mob as a gunman. The plot jumps around from different years but it's very watchable. The violent scenes are brief and it cuts in TV clips from past years. I liked the Don Rickles reference. PIcture shows the male-dominated era where women took a back role. Low-key music, superb script and very well edited. Not as flashy as expected but involving and the main characters have depth. Reminds me of gritty Hollywood from the 1940s like Thieves highway and the French crime films from the 1960s. Memorable film that you won't forget.


Title: The Irishman
Genre: Gangster
New/old: New
Cinema/DVD: Cinema

Dark lies the island

Routine and lifeless movie set in Ireland's North West; has the look and feel of a stage play. A middle-aged man remarries a younger woman while his sons crack up living in a small town. None of these characters are remotely likeable and the story is boring. Everyone argues and drawls their lines. Comedian Tommy Tiernan is in it but doesn't do much. Lots of tension and acting but it goes nowhere. Pretentious title, sinister music on the soundtrack, based on a story by an award-winning writer, well-known cast  - ticks all the boxes our Film Board requires for 'quality' cinema. You won't care what happens and the stylish establishing shots get tedious. With a bit of luck that crap town will be housing a hundred asylum seekers soon!


Title: Dark lies the island
Genre: Drama
New/old: New
Cinema/DVD: Cinema

Bump along the way

Set in Derry, a middle-aged woman gets pregnant while her teenage daughter gets bullied in school. Not exactly a comedy but not social realism either. There's little reference to Northern Ireland other than establishing shots and the accents; could be set anywhere. Some parts are funny, others sad but it's routine and predictable. Unusually for these type of films  there are no pop/rock songs on the soundtrack. The father was right to demand a paternity test. Picture is feminist, most of the male characters are jerks. The daughter's scenes are more interesting than the mother's; some of her school scenes are funny but sad. Watchable but should have been better.

Title: A bump along the way
Genre: Drama
New/old: New
Cinema/DVD: Cinema

Kitchen

Feminist mob movie set in the 1970s, all the men are jerks. It's about New York's Irish community and three men get sent to prison. Their wives take over the racket. Lots of killings and double-crossings but it's too fast paced with too much plot. Like they cut 30 minutes out; would have worked better as animation. People in phones boxes get shot in the head, too accurate to be realistic. People get killed and the other characters are upset though we've  only seen them briefly in an earlier scene. The movie looks great and the rock and funk soundtrack is good though no disco or punk which is unusual. Best role was the older woman who took no nonsense. Refreshing hearing characters speak their minds and refusing to act nice in this PC era. Watchable and above average though it's no classic.

Title: The kitchen
Genre: Gangster
New/old: New
Cinema/DVD: Cinema

Extra ordinary

Impressive horror comedy about a driving instructor with powers to deal with ghosts. Set in small-town Ireland it boasts a superb script, good cast playing for laughs but taking the story seriously, decent music, fast pacing and some funny moments. A failed international musician wants to sacrifice a local virgin to the devil. Her father hires the driving instructor to deal with his dead wife who haunts the family home. It's like a routine genre film done too many times already here but finally they got it right. Usually with these movies some parts are good but get runied from casting Deirde O'Kane or Amy Huberman or is badly directed. The two-worded title is deliberate. One of the few recent Irish films I would recommend but don't expect this silly effort to win awards.

Title: Extra ordinary
Genre: Horror
New/old: New
Cinema/DVD: Cinema

Thank you come again

Overlong comedy set in a sex shop off Dublin's Grafton Street. It's not that good or funny but is watchable. Most of the cast are the same age and look like they are from the same class out of drama school. There's a silly story involving diamonds, a priest with second thoughts and an unemployed older man. There's little reference to Ireland apart from in a newspaper. Uneven acting and the bickering between staff gets tiresome. Lots of bad cutaways of actors talking directly to the camera. Best scene was the speed dating. At the end one of the characters says 'dead priest in a porn shop' which would have made a better title.Good to see some Irish filmmakers not caring about winning an IFTA! 


Title: Thank you come again
Genre: Comedy
New/old: New
Cinema/DVD: Cinema

Never grow old

Drab western about an Irish immigrant in the early days of white America. Mostly set at night or indoors lit with candles it's about an undertaker who buries the victims of a nasty bar owner (Cusack). Set in a hamlet in the mountains it's routine enough. Like most Irish movies it's the story that matters rather than character or setting. Cut, cut,cut without any scene standing out or going on too long. Best scene was the hanging of the young woman but that wasn't effective. The best Westerns get made by directors working mostly in that genre but that doesn't happen anymore. Anyone who watches these films already knows a rural, wooden cabin on screen every few minutes will eventually get burned down.

Title: Never grow old
Genre: Western
New/old: New
Cinema/DVD: Cinema

KIRSTEN SHERIDAN ARTICLE IN TODAY'S INDO

Rather sad article in today's Irish Independent newspaper about Ireland's most overrated female film director. She's been abroad for six years trying to make a career not in movies now but in television. Still looking for something to say in her work too she says. Too much competition and lack of support from RTE are to blame. Never mind the dozen or so more talented Irish female film directors that have appeared since Dollhouse. How many of those knobs on Filmmakers' Network who got me banned still rate her as a director? This blog would never exist only for I correctly stated she was standing on the shoulders of giants.